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UNREAL... Jim Sorgi Signs Despite Shoulder Concerns, to Resume Career as the Manning Family Caddy

Is Jim Sorgi the smartest dude in the history of the world or is Jim Sorgi the smartest dude in the history of the world? The man has officially become a LEGEND in my book. I mean how else can you describe the pure genius that he has molded his life into? Think about it. He has played for what, 100 snaps in 6 years? Made almost seven figures by having a front row seat to watch arguably the best QB ever who has not even missed a start? So finally he squeezes the last dime he can out of that franchise and what does he do? Obviously he does the only thing the smartest guy ever made can do.... He signs up to do another tour with the family. At least Eli won't have to worry about going out to buy fathers and mothers day gifts now for Archie and Olivia. Sorgi DEF has that covered. He probably knows exactly how many sugars Olivia takes in her ice tea with bourbon and what kind of po'boy Archie prefers back home. Its just a WIN WIN WIN all around. I love how the Giants had to pretend to be concerned about his shoulder too. Just so everybody thinks they actually are thinking about his football playing ability as a member of the 53. Whatever. We all know better. So go ahead and do your football posturing all you want you clever front office you. There isn't one person in NY who doesn't know that Eli needed a bona fide personal assistant who knows his place. Just like me at the NYGiantsmix. Everybody knows I need help balancing all my talent and NY Giants clarity. Are you hearing me MIX peeps? Get somebody on the horn and sign em up. Just make sure you check out their hands to make sure they can still type so it doesn't look obvious that their hire is to get me coffee and pick up my dry cleaning.

-Kenneth Hirsch

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